Adventurer #08: Оттяг - Узнай, каким студентом ты являешься

(C) Fedorov "Chasm" Vladimir

"What kind of student are you?"

There are probably many students among you. I was also a student and had a pretty good time for five years. It was a cool time... This little test will help you determine what kind of student you are - a nerd or a cool party guy.

1. A student party like "Freshman Day" is coming up. What do you do about it?  
a) I bring a lot of booze, get drunk, and then throw up in the student club's restroom.  
b) I don’t go to such events, plus I’m already in my second year.  
c) I party hard, win the best dancer contest during the party, hook up with the girl who won the same contest in the female category, then take her home and have sex.

2. What do you do during boring lectures, like sociology?  
a) I diligently take notes of all the lecturer's nonsense.  
b) I play "Tic-Tac-Toe" or "Bald" with my desk mate.  
c) I rewrite the missed robotics lecture.

3. What were you doing when you skipped the robotics lecture?  
a) Since it was the first class, I was chilling in a beer bar, suffering from a hangover after yesterday's party.  
b) I never skip lectures.  
c) I didn’t feel like getting out of bed at 7 AM because after coming back home from the party yesterday, I hooked up with a cool girl and wanted to sleep in a bit longer.

4. The lab work is in full swing. What are you doing?  
a) I sit and come up with a new effect for the demonstration while my neighbor conducts experiments and processes the results. When he finishes, I copy everything and submit it.  
b) I’m busy taking readings from the instruments and entering them into tables.  
c) I enter the classroom with a good excuse in my pocket in the form of a dental appointment slip (by the way, I write the date in the hallway before entering the classroom). After that, I easily copy the lab from my neighbor and submit it.

5. Break before the philosophy seminar. What do you do?  
a) I stand in the restroom, smoke, and chat with the guys.  
b) I lock myself in a restroom stall, roll a joint, and smoke (it's really cool to chat with the philosopher while high).  
c) I sit in the hallway and review the seminar topic.

6. In a week, it's time to submit your term paper. What do you do?  
a) I lock myself at home and spend all night working on it (I bought the drawing board back in my second year because I didn’t feel like going to the drawing room).  
b) I start preparing for exams since I submitted the term paper early.  
c) I casually approach the lab assistant with a box of chocolates and get the ready term paper from the archive. I roll it out in a couple of days and submit it successfully.

7. What do you do if exams are around the corner?  
a) I diligently study for 12 hours a day.  
b) I write cheat sheets and parachutes.  
c) I party and drink with friends since copying directly from the lecture notes is something I'm used to.

8. During the hydraulics exam, a free pass comes along. What do you do?  
a) I approach the professor and without taking the exam, I get a passing grade (because I'm in a hurry to grab a beer).  
b) I sit down, prepare, and study, getting a five.  
c) I sit down, copy everything, read what I copied to the professor, and get a four.

9. After the first exam, everyone gathers in the dorm to celebrate passing. What do you do?  
a) I won’t go there since I have an exam in three days, and I won’t have time to prepare well.  
b) I drink heavily that evening, but in the morning I hurry home to recover from the hangover and write cheat sheets.  
c) I drink for all three days, come to the exam with a two-meter hangover, but still pass it (how else could it be).

10. After the exams, you all are collectively sent to a factory for practical training. What do you do about it?  
a) I arrange to do my internship at another factory. A friend of mine works in the technical department there and provides me with all the necessary documentation. So I won’t show up at the factory at all.  
b) I hang out in the technical department of the factory I was sent to, arrange for the necessary documentation, and do the report in a couple of days.  
c) I go to the factory for all 20 days. I walk around the workshops collecting documentation, and then spend another five days preparing the report.

Now, let's count:

1. a) 5 points         6. a) 5 points  
   b) 1 - " -            b) 1 - " -  
   c) 10 - " -            c) 10 - " -  
2. a) 1 - " -         7. a) 1 - " -  
   b) 10 - " -            b) 5 - " -  
   c) 5 - " -            c) 10 - " -  
3. a) 5 - " -         8. a) 10 - " -  
   b) 1 - " -            b) 1 - " -  
   c) 10 - " -            c) 5 - " -  
4. a) 5 - " -         9. a) 1 - " -  
   b) 1 - " -            b) 5 - " -  
   c) 10 - " -            c) 10 - " -  
5. a) 5 - " -        10. a) 10 - " -  
   b) 10 - " -            b) 5 - " -  
   c) 1 - " -            c) 1 - " 
90-100  
You are a cool and party-loving student. It doesn’t matter that practically nothing stays in your head after the exam - the main thing is that there’s a mark in the grade book and money in your pocket for a party. Of course, jokes aside, but you could end up in a fall retake.

60-89  
Well, damn... You love to drink with guys and girls, but you don’t forget about studying either. But my advice to you: just don’t stress, party casually and fully.

30-59  
Look around - there are plenty of interesting things besides studying. Go out and drink with the guys, hook up with a girl. It might lighten your mood...

10-29  
Well, you are a nerd!!! I think it’s in your genotype. It’s incurable... Or maybe your mother spanked you with a belt on your bare butt for any grade lower than an A until you were fifteen.

There are no more tests for now, so let’s wrap it up. Write letters, rate the tests, and maybe if you come up with a test, send it in. If you win, you’ll get a prize (contest conditions in the previous issue in the "Contest" section).  
And now load the next section.

Contents of the publication: Adventurer #08

• От автора - Shaitan
  Technical details of a new program interface for ZX Spectrum. Discusses improvements and features like scrolling and color change. Provides keyboard and button navigation instructions.
• От автора
  Introduction by the author and editorial team details.
• Presentation
  The article presents a software installer for creating autorun disks and introduces a new adventure game created with QUILL by Dr. Laser.
• Presentation of TRICK Software
  The article presents TRICK, a new software for program protection developed by Eternity Industry, and discusses its beta and commercial versions. The author, Alexander Kalinin (aka Paracels/EI), addresses previous shortcomings in the software and emphasizes its improved interface. It includes purchase details for the software and invites readers to request it.
• Presentation
  The article provides a detailed user manual for HELP_Z80, a free utility for ZX Spectrum that serves as an electronic guide for Z80 microprocessor commands. It outlines how to load and use the software, including command explanations, search functions, and integration with assemblers. Additionally, it includes memory distribution, operational features, and references for further reading.
• Interface
  The article discusses reader feedback on the magazine's interface, addressing concerns about pricing and software trends in the ZX Spectrum community. It features a letter from a reader expressing thoughts on game pricing and the declining number of users on the platform. Additionally, there are discussions on software developments and user engagement.
• Interface
  The article shares the author's experiences after purchasing an Amiga, comparing it with a PC, and discussing its usability for games, graphics, and music, while noting some software limitations.
• Interface
  The article discusses user support issues faced by hardware manufacturers SCORPION and NEMO for ZX Spectrum devices. It critiques SCORPION for poor customer service despite being a market leader, while praising NEMO for responsive support. The author expresses concerns about the overall market direction for ZX Spectrum hardware.
• Interface
  Article discusses the future of the Spectrum platform, addressing user demographics, software production challenges, and hardware evolution possibilities.
• Interface
  Article discusses the frustrations of a Speccy user regarding hardware issues, the challenges of modern computing, and the dedication to maintaining the Speccy platform.
• Interface
  Статья рассматривает жизнь и судьбы пользователей ZX Spectrum, включая личные воспоминания автора о друзьях и их взаимодействии с компьютерами.
• System
  The article reviews various software for ZX Spectrum, including text editors, audio players, and graphic utilities. It provides independent opinions on their features and usability, highlighting both strengths and weaknesses. The piece emphasizes the evolution and improvement of software tools available for this classic platform.
• Overview of Games
  Overview of notable games for ZX Spectrum, highlighting their graphics, sound, and gameplay mechanics. Each entry includes a brief summary and rating. Recommended for fans of retro gaming.
• Review of Demos
  The article reviews demo versions of various games, highlighting their potential and unique features. It emphasizes the scarcity of such releases in the market and evaluates the quality and gameplay mechanics of selected titles. The author shares insights into the progress and expectations for future full versions of these games.
• Guests
  The article discusses the formation and activities of the Eternity Industry group, its members, projects, and future plans for releases and competitions.
• Гости - Dr. John
  An interview with Felix from Virtual Brothers discusses his transition from ZX Spectrum to PC, development of the game 'Winnie the Pooh', and future plans.
• Guests
  Interview with the musicians Mарат and Демон from the band 'Disgust', discussing their musical evolution, influences, and perspectives on life and creativity.
• Promotion
  The article provides a detailed manual for the game 'ENCYCLOPEDIA of WAR', explaining army selection, unit types, and battle mechanics.
• Promotion
  The article provides a walkthrough for the game, detailing necessary items and strategies for progressing through various challenges, including dealing with dinosaurs and navigating villages.
• Promotion
  Статья представляет собой обзор arcade adventure игры 'ELOPEMENT' от Omega HG, выделяя ее особенности и советы по прохождению.
• Promotion
  Статья описывает текстовую адвентюру 'Остров тьмы' на QUILL, предлагая советы для игроков. Упоминаются механики и персонажи, включая загадки и взаимодействия. В конце представлена карта острова.
• Promotion of 'Knightmare'
  The article describes the game 'Knightmare', detailing its commands, gameplay mechanics, and initial quests. Players control a knight who must interact with characters and solve puzzles to progress. It serves as a manual for navigating the game's environment and objectives.
• Experience Exchange
  The article critiques the adventure game 'Island of Darkness' by Paul Moskow, highlighting its illogical design, lack of detailed item descriptions, and absence of helpful hints for players.
• Experience Exchange
  The article provides a detailed manual for enhancing the ZX ASM 3.0 assembler, introducing debugging features and functionalities for better program execution control on ZX Spectrum.
• Experience Exchange
  The article describes a phenomenon observed with the ZX Spectrum video controller, where switching between two screens can create unexpected visual artifacts. It outlines a specific program that demonstrates this effect through rapid screen toggling. The author discusses the implications and potential applications of this behavior.
• Обмен опытом - Иван Рощин
  The article is a programming guide on porting the 'iris.ss' screen saver effect from Dos Navigator to ZX Spectrum, including source code and modification tips.
• Обмен опытом - Иван Рощин
  Description of the OPEN_W procedure to create window borders. Includes details on customization of symbols and dimensions. Utilizes PRSYM for symbol printing.
• Обмен опытом - Maximum
  Introduction to long integer operations for game development on ZX Spectrum, including addition, subtraction, and conversion to ASCII.
• Experience Exchange
  The article discusses the customization of the ART STUDIO graphic editor by creating additional modules that enhance its functionality, including features like music playback and cursor coordinates display.
• Experience Exchange
  The article describes a program developed to improve the visual quality of a pixel-by-pixel moving attribute message on ZX Spectrum. It provides details on the implementation, including the use of data arrays for motion trajectory and image rendering. The program includes comments for easier understanding and can be modified for different effects.
• Оттяг
  The article features humorous sketches and commentary on various aspects of life and technology, including anecdotes about a fictional character's experience with a Pentium processor.
• Pharmacist Test
  The article presents humorous tests designed to identify whether someone is a real pharmacist or a fraud, featuring situational questions and scoring to gauge knowledge of pharmacy.
• Oddities and Self-Reflection in 'Оттяг'
  The article 'Оттяг' presents a humorous and critical self-reflection of the author, exploring various life experiences and quirks that highlight his unusual personality traits.
• Humorous Quiz: Assess Your Sense of Humor
  The article presents a humorous quiz to assess one's sense of humor and sexual attitudes through various situational questions, revealing absurd and comedic perspectives.
• Student Types Quiz
  The article presents a humorous quiz to determine what kind of student you are, ranging from a party animal to a diligent scholar. It features a series of questions regarding typical student activities and responses. The results categorize students based on their score, from carefree to nerdy.
• How to Properly Torture Windows 95 - Maximum
  Статья описывает иронический подход к установке и эксплуатации операционной системы Windows 95, включая способы ее 'мучения' и троллинга. В тексте используются гиперболизированные примеры взаимодействия с ОС для создания комичного эффекта. Это развлекательный материал с элементами юмора.
• Ottyag
  The article is a humorous narrative featuring Winnie the Pooh and his friends returning to the Hundred Acre Wood, where their carefree life turns chaotic. It describes their antics, including drinking and misadventures, as they reunite and encounter various challenges. The story showcases the characters' personalities and interactions in a comedic light.
• Novella
  The article describes a humorous novella featuring Corporal Johnlan recounting his first military mission and his interactions with a young grandchild over beers.
• Novella
  Novella recounts an adventurous escape from a Glot base using a vintage spacecraft, highlighting the protagonist's encounters and clever maneuvers.
• Novella
  The article describes a whimsical story about two hedgehogs, Pukhly and Zaraza, who, after a strange event, develop wings and must navigate their new reality. The story blends fantasy and humor as the characters face unexpected changes and challenges. This is a novella showcasing imaginative storytelling.
• News
  The article discusses recent updates from Rybninsk related to the FunTop party, detailing contributions from various individuals and teams for the 'Adventurer' magazine and demo competitions.
• News
  Статья сообщает о событиях в сообществе Спектрумистов Ярославля, включая информацию о разработчиках программного обеспечения и их текущих проектах.
• Advertisement
  The article is a collection of advertisements and announcements related to ZX Spectrum, inviting collaboration from programmers, artists, and musicians, and detailing how to acquire the journal and software.