ZX Format #02: Let's Relax: Software Sales Challenges

Nervous work.

(C) Pavel Ryndin 1995  
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I already have a nervous job, and then there’s this guy with a blue, for some reason, face who comes up every fifteen minutes and, raising his eyebrows in surprise, asks: - What are you doing standing here? Here he comes again, asking. - I'm selling here, you understand, - selling! - I replied to his eyebrows. They took on an even more bewildered look, but at the same time began to lower threateningly. - What are you selling? Oh, my partner left, - and I can't leave the stall unattended. I had to patiently explain: - Programs, various gadgets. Do you know what a computer is? Well, there you go. The guy nodded in confusion and stepped back. Not far. While I was cautiously watching him, a buyer appeared. - Hello. I was here with you last time... - he pondered the last word for a long time, like a well-mannered boy thinks about a curse. On his face, a mask of submission to a hard fate seemed to be frozen forever. - Yes, I see. - I bought a cassette from you. With a game. And it’s - nothing. There’s no game. I need to deal with him quickly before the stall is flooded with tears. I asked him: - What kind of computer do you have? He flinched unnaturally, apparently preparing to run away, but with an inhuman effort of will, he forced himself to stay put. - Huh? What are you saying? - What kind of computer do you have? I am very patient, especially with clients, isn’t that right? - A computer? What is that? - What do you mean? Where did you connect the tape recorder output? - To the TV! - To the TV?! What are you talking about, you need a computer, - and all this, mind you, in a calm voice! What depths of patience and self-control I discovered in myself thanks to this incident! Of course, when he couldn't take it anymore and bolted, I still slid down the wall, to which I was leaning.  
This guy reminded me of a recent story. It was still warm then. A guy came up, saying he bought a diskette from us last week. He came in ecstatic, by the way. Ready to throw himself into our arms. - Guys! - he says. - You pack the disks so cool, I’m thrilled! Only it doesn’t work for some reason... He handed me the diskette, and the words of the question stuck in my throat. And then they woke up back in my stomach. The envelope was torn in all directions, and the disk was dangling somewhere in the center of this mess. - Cannibal! What did you do to it? - I asked him. - What? Very cool packaging, I spent half an hour prying it open. Only the disk doesn’t play. I put it on the player, and there’s just hissing. No, no, - I didn’t have a heart attack. It’s all a lie what they say about that day at the market. A little episode, - so what? And they just called the car out of fright. So don’t believe it. But the work is nerve-wracking. Now I am hardened. I could be given the title Mr. Patience. Now I’m like a yogi. But back then... Meanwhile, the guy with the blue face disappeared. It became easier to breathe.  
A couple was approaching me. They looked like a father and son. A Spirit hovered around them. Spirits also floated in their glassy eyes. The world seemed mysterious and ancient. And it swayed slightly underfoot. Under their feet, - I was standing firmly. They stopped in front of me and were dumbfounded. - Oh! - said the father. - O-oh! - said the son, for which he received a whack on the head. - Don’t chatter too much! - the father declared authoritatively. I asked what they wanted, trying to articulate the words as clearly as possible. - For a computer? - asked the father. - For a Spectrum? - the son wanted to clarify. - Exactly. For the 48th, 128th Spectrum and for Scorpions. Cassettes and diskettes. Please. The son took charge of the negotiations. - Do you have THIS? - he made an unintelligible gesture with his hands. - Be more specific... - Well, this... to shoot. And with stars. - Stars? - the father perked up. - Where? I barely restrained myself from quoting the dictionary "In Aid of the Censor," suppressing my ability to rhyme some words. And I replied: - All is well, dad. Your stars have already been digested and now move with the blood. And regarding star wars - I can recommend "Elite." Here’s a complete list of versions. I can tell about each one. They refused to listen to my story, but they bought all the versions, which lifted my mood that had already begun to fall.  
- Anything else? - the father, now excited, fussed. I had to suppress two feelings at once - surprise and joy. It’s not easy. - Please, - I showed them a pile of various adventures and strategies. Both of them dropped their jaws. - This... this... to fight... on the map? - On the map! - exclaimed the son. - We will play together, - I - Napoleon, you - Roosevelt. Samofrakiya will be ours! The father reached for his wallet. - But almost all of these games are in English, - I warned. - Will you understand? The son looked at the father doubtfully: - Will we understand? - What’s there... I still have half a liter left. - We’ll understand, we’ll understand, - the son nodded joyfully. They bought this too. They stood swaying, thought, and bought more. And more. They bought everything I had that day. And they left. And the spirit left with them. Amen. Only a few minutes later did I count the money and realize that they paid for each disk as if it were two. I’ll buy myself champagne today. I was already leaving when the earlier guy appeared. His blue face had turned red in spots, and his eyebrows swayed drunkenly. He was heading towards me. No matter what you say, my job is nerve-wracking!  
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Contents of the publication: ZX Format #02

• IS-DOS
  Announcement of a school-ready hardware-software complex by Iskra Soft and Peters, featuring a networked computer class setup on ZX Spectrum with IS-DOS.
• IS-DOS - Владимир Елисеев
  Explanation of command line monitor and text editor restart in IS-DOS using mon.com utility as an example.
• IS-DOS
  Introduction to IS-DOS system utilities, covering functions like help, user menu, file viewing, editing, and file operations.
• IS-DOS
  Detailed description of the eliminat.com program for freeing memory from resident tasks and drivers, featuring interactive mode and command-line keys. Specific channel numbers allocated for task and driver types. Includes usage options and color customization.
• IS-DOS Window System - Владимир Елисеев
  Exploration of IS-DOS window system restarts for printing text in windows and absolute screen coordinates. Examples of restart implementations such as lwt, adrwt, lenwt, prstr, str, and lnstr. Continuation to cover auxiliary restarts in next issue.
• Assembler
  Introduction to assembly language basics, focusing on flags, arithmetic operations, and register manipulation. Discusses addition, subtraction, and complex operations like multiplication and division through examples. Highlights specific assembly commands and their functions for ZX Spectrum.
• Hardware
  Discussion of hardware modifications for Scorpion ZS-256-Turbo, including the implementation of a Turbo/Normal switch. Pros and cons of software-based switching methods. Advice on soldering and circuit adjustments.
• Hardware
  Discussion of a new music add-on for ZX Spectrum by X-TRADE and HACKER STINGER, called 'ZX GENERAL SOUND', offering high-quality audio and minimal processor usage.
• Hardware
  Discussion on hardware innovations and marketing strategies, focusing on mouse and keyboard interfaces for ZX Spectrum. Critique of competitor's misleading advertising and analysis of serial versus passive mouse technology. Author questions necessity and cost of advanced features.
• Hardware
  Discussion of hardware acceleration methods for ZX Spectrum, focusing on turbo-modes and their effects on performance and compatibility.
• Toys
  Fantasy tale about magical creatures battling human intrusion. Main character recruits allies for a quest to restore the land's former glory. Challenges include finding tools, overcoming obstacles, and reviving companions.
• Toys
  Review of 'Carrier Command' game, focusing on its strategic and simulation aspects. Includes detailed gameplay mechanics, controls, and objectives. Highlights strategies for success and unique features like managing resources and autonomous systems.
• Interview
  Interview with Sergey Zonov and Andrey Larchenko discussing their experience with microprocessors and ZX Spectrum development, including the creation of the Scorpion ZS 256 computer.
• Information
  Contact information and staff list of ZX-Format No. 2 (1995) including editor, coders, and designers.
• Information
  Editor's address to readers of ZX Format, discussing the positive feedback, past errors, and the quest for a cartoonist, with future plans for the magazine.
• Information
  Discussion on the new interpretation of the 'PULLDOWN' window menu system for ZX Spectrum, focusing on interface updates and user interaction enhancements.
• Information
  Discussion about companies illegally distributing ZX Format, emphasizing the benefits of purchasing official copies.
• Competition
  The article discusses the lack of participation in ZX Format's competition, detailing the rules and prizes, and encourages readers to engage with new ideas.
• Let's Relax
  A humorous account of a software vendor's challenges dealing with clueless customers, illustrating the nerve-wracking nature of his job.
• Mailbox
  Overview of hardware components and prices for ZX Spectrum enthusiasts with ordering details.
• Mailbox
  Reader letters section in ZX Format #02 discusses reader feedback, addresses issues with ZX Format features, and offers future improvements.
• Premiere
  Guide to Digital Studio v1.12, a music editor for ZX Spectrum, including features, menu navigation, and the use of Digital Studio Compiler.
• For Programmers
  Exploration of tools that extend the standard Basic 48, including Renumber for Basic 128, Trace & Speed, Blast Toolkit, and ZXeditor, highlighting their functionalities and utilities.
• Various
  History of Amiga computer models and their evolution from A1000 to A4000/60T with specifications and unique features. Explanation of technical terms and differences between chip and fast memory. Mention of new developments like AGA chipset and models for different needs.
• Miscellaneous
  The article presents upcoming ZX Spectrum software releases and reviews game innovations like 'Adventures of Winnie the Pooh' and 'UFO 2: Devils of the Abyss'. It highlights features, creators, and technical requirements. It also includes announcements from SOFTLAND and Cracked Masters Group.
• Systems
  Discussion of creating music with Instrument 3.01, focusing on digitized sound. Analysis of program's capabilities and conversion from ASC Sound Master. Instructions for composition and conversion.
• What's New
  Review of new ZX Spectrum games entering the St. Petersburg market in late 1995. Detailed game descriptions, memory requirements, controls, and music/graphics evaluations. Highlights include Night Hunter, Extreme, Grell & Falla, and more.